Today's the day

My appointment with the oncological gynecologist is this afternoon. And my anxiety is pretty high about it.

I want to go. I've heard great things about this doctor (two of my husband's cousins have gone to him and had him do their oophorectomies, both being BRCA1+). He specializes in BRCA mutations.

And I'm scared too. I finally know, thanks to my MRI, that I don't have breast cancer (yet). But I don't know that about ovarian cancer. And ovarian cancer is harder to "monitor for" and harder to treat if you do have it.

So today, I'm praying that I don't have ovarian cancer and that the doc has a recommendation (oophorectomy or hysterectomy) and that we can get it scheduled.

My sister is going to my appointment with me today. I have very mixed feelings about this. It's a gyn visit, which is always best attended alone in my mind, BUT... I may get bad news today. And my sister is a busy person who I don't get to see often. So I feel like the fact that she is available to go and asked me if she can go with me means that maybe she's meant to be there today. Maybe there's a reason it's working out that way.

So yeah. Back to anxiety and fear. And hope and planning.

This journey is no fun at all.