Two weeks to go

My prophylactic double mastectomy with immediate DIEP flap reconstruction is two weeks from today.

Two. Weeks. From. Today.

I am heading to the hospital a day early to get marked up by my plastic surgeon. So that's less than two weeks away.

I am starting to feel anxious about it. Not really worried, per se, but anxious about the surgery in general. I just want to get it done so I can heal and move on. I want to see that my kids are okay and that I am okay. I want to start walking and driving again. I want to get back into being able to go to my kids' extra curricular things. I want to not miss any, which can't happen since one is the night of my surgery, so I want to heal and get back to living life.

I've made lists: things I need to take to the hospital, a 2-week meal plan of easy but still somewhat healthy things my family can cook, a grocery list to go with said meal plan, non-food things I need to make sure we're stocked up on before I'm laid up for a bit (or at least not able to go shop for easily). I have a to-do list at work to make sure nothing is undone when I leave and to make sure someone can take care of the basics for the (hopefully) few days I'll be in the hospital.

The next thing I want to get done is to make a calendar of what needs to be done daily (school drop-offs and pick-ups, practices, performances, games, religion class, doctor appointments) so that we can make sure we don't miss anything important.

I'm feeling more and more ready, but also more and more anxious. This two weeks can't pass fast enough, yet it's also coming way too fast.

And I've gotta say... one of my biggest frustrations right now is clothing. I need some new clothes because I've been losing weight but I have no clue what size to buy because so much can change after this surgery. I literally can't buy anything without it being a potential waste of money. Can't buy pants, shirts, bras (I'm going from a way-too-big size to a full B or small C cup, by choice), or underwear. And it's frustrating, because I don't even know what I'll need to come home from the hospital in. I honestly think I'll be coming home in pajamas.