So we told the older two kids on Saturday what's going on. My second oldest, M, left for camp on Sunday so I needed to let her process it before she left. We told them pretty much everything about the bladder issue but didn't talk about the BRCA stuff yet. I told my younger two kids on Sunday. They were concerned, but that was quickly forgotten as they got excited that they were going to get to sleep over at my friend's house on Monday.
Because Monday was surgery day.
My appointment with the new geneticist was supposed to be yesterday. But I had to reschedule it due to surgery now being the same day. I rescheduled the geneticist for August 14 (fortunately for me, she had a cancellation).
So I had my TURBT yesterday.
My husband and his mom went with me. Everything went as well as I could have asked for. I cried less than I thought I would, my nurses were fantastic, my doctor was as awesome as expected, the surgery was supposed to take two hours but only took about 45 minutes. I came out of anesthesia easily. I didn't have to come home with a catheter. As soon as they took the catheter out, I needed to use the bathroom. I did and had no pain or blood. All really did go well.
Before the surgery, I asked Dr. H. when the pathology report would be back. She said it'd be a week so she'd see me in clinic on Tuesday. Since I have to be in Ann Arbor on Monday for the geneticist appointment, I asked if there's any way we can meet Monday instead. She literally pulled out her phone, looked at her calendar, and said "We'll make it happen." She is that amazing. This afternoon, I messaged her office through the hospital's online portal. I asked if a time had been scheduled for Monday yet. Twenty minutes later, I got this reply from her (directly from her, not someone in her office):
"Hi Deanna,
We are still working on it but will get back to you ASAP. Hope you're feeling ok. See you Monday (time TBD).
Lindsey"
She is simply wonderful. And I know that in her care, I will be okay.
But this is all still damn scary. I've told a few more people as they've asked questions. But now I'm feeling overwhelmed with all of the questions and the sorrow from people, so I'm starting to retreat. I think I'm more comfortable keeping things to myself for the most part. I've never been one to share much personal stuff and I don't think this is the time to start.
I've felt pretty good since my surgery. I haven't taken a pain med since I was in the hospital (by my choice). I have been urinating fine and have been eating. I have some pain today but it's bearable so it's okay. It hurts my back and my abdomen (where I'm assuming my bladder is located) to sit straight up for more than a few minutes. But it's bearable so it's okay.
I worked from home today and have the option to do that as long as I feel I need to. I'm going to try to work in my office tomorrow. Keeping up the norm, as my doctor recommended.
My head is a mess, or at least it feels that way to me. So much going on, so much to think about, so much I wish I could stop thinking about. In all of this, waiting is one of the hardest parts.
But now we wait, for six. long. days.
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