Trade Ovarian Cancer for Heart Disease and Loss of Bone Density?

I had my appointment with my gynecologist this morning. I thought I'd end up with a couple of tests run today and I'd leave with a referral to a surgeon.

Nope.

My gyn is quite convinced that I'm "acting too strongly too quickly." She'll do whatever I want her to (and she can do an oophorectomy or hysterectomy without having to refer me to anyone). But she is very convinced that waiting 8 to 10 years for either of those is a better option for me. She said that either procedure will put me in some degree of early menopause. She said that means my body would age much quicker and that my chances for loss of bone density and of heart disease would be higher very quickly.

So basically, I would trade off the risk of ovarian cancer for the risk of heart disease and brittle bones.

I asked about monitoring for ovarian cancer in some way. She said she can order pelvic ultrasounds for me, yearly if I want them that often. For the time being, at least until my geneticist visit in August, that's what I'm going to do. I'm going to get my first ultrasound as soon as possible so I can see if I already have ovarian cancer. I'll talk to the geneticist. If my risk of ovarian cancer is too much for me to take, I'll have my gyn do the oophorectomy this year. If I decide I'm comfortable waiting, I'll get yearly ultrasounds until I'm much closer to natural menopause.

Add all of this to stuff I never thought I'd have to worry about and things I don't really feel like dealing with or talking about now. :(

The MRI...

... didn't get to happen.

To do a breast MRI, you have to lay on your stomach on this ramp thing that looks like what you'd see mechanics raise a car on to change its oil. Your boobs hang down in these holes. Your boobs can't be squished at all. Well, mine are large (as doctors seem to like telling me) and when they hang down in the MRI machine, they get squished. So they have to "build you up" by basically putting rolled up washcloths between your boobs. Which raises you higher in the air. Which raises me too high to fit into the MRI machine at the facility I was at.

So I called 10 (literally) more places to try to get an MRI this week and nobody has an appointment available. So now I have to wait until next month (since breast MRIs have to be done between days 7 and 14 of your menstrual cycle) and get it done somewhere else. But I also have to hope that my insurance company will provide another pre-authorization, since the existing one expires on April 18. My doctor's office is working on the insurance side of it for me.

Now I know what to expect when I *do* get to have the MRI, and I know I'll be at a facility that has a larger machine and won't be a problem for me.
'
And for the record, I'm sick of talking about and showing my boobs.

That is all.

It's MRI Day

I'm nervous as heck and feel sick to my stomach. I'm shaking. I'm extremely claustrophobic. I just wish this were done.

Hoping for a quick test and that I make it through without issue. And hoping for good results. It's crazy even to me that I'm more worried about the actual test than the results. I'm looking at the MRI as a necessary evil to check off of the list.

*sigh*

Relatable (Unfortunately)

I was recently welcomed into the BRCA Sisterhood Facebook group. If you're looking for support from women going through the same thing, you need to check it out. You have to be approved to join, but you'll understand and appreciate that once you are accepted to the group.

The very first post I read on that page was "Anyone have to start anti-anxiety meds after finding out about all this shit? I feel like I have mini panic attacks throughout the day worrying about what this mutation will do to me. Hoping it goes away after getting all the surgeries."

I don't think I've ever related to a total stranger's sentiment so strongly. And I wish I didn't this time. But seriously... I know I'm not, but I do feel like I'm going crazy. This stuff eats at you, all. the. time.

Ugh... A Little Taste of What's to Come

I had to take my husband to the ER this morning. He has a bad infection in his leg. He's since been admitted into the hospital and will be there at least 48 hours. He's going to be fine, but it's been a rough day.

When I told my kids what was happening and where Da is, two of them started crying. I took them to the hospital to see him. They were expecting the worst, even though I told them beforehand that he is only hooked up to an IV. Once they saw him, they felt better. But then the nurse came in to give him a shot, and my 7-year-old freaked a bit.

If they are worried about a leg infection with a 48-hour hospital stay, how will they react to major surgery with a longer hospital stay? If they can't handle seeing an IV line and a shot, how will they feel when they see me after surgery?

No bueno. This whole thing sucks.

Now to get my husband healthy so my family can leave for vacation in 12 days. We NEED this time away together.

Appointments and Indecision

I got the call I've been waiting for. I was able to schedule my consult with a breast surgeon in Ann Arbor. My appointment is about a month away. I'm good with that. We have a trip planned for spring break, which is the week before the appointment. At least the appointment is on the calendar and I have something fun to look forward to before it.

I then called the plastic surgeon's office and got an appointment for a consult there too. It's a couple of days before the other consult. I'm glad to have it scheduled; I truly think I have more questions for the plastic surgeon than for the breast surgeon, as reconstruction is where my indecision comes in. I am now leaning toward not getting any type of reconstruction. I know the Facebook page I am on freaked me out at first. But it doesn't now, and the option is actually seeming better to me. Maybe it's more about the bad stories I've read in the DIEP flap group that I'm part of online. I need to get facts and straight info from a plastic surgeon to be able to be completely confident in my decision. Whatever I choose will have long-lasting consequences (hopefully benefits).

So the countdown is on to lots of appointments. The first is about a week and a half away.

In the meantime, I'm going to try to relax (yeah, right) and enjoy my family and friends.

August

That's when the geneticist in Ann Arbor has an opening to see me. Freaking August.

I suppose the only good thing for me is that my conversation with the geneticist won't affect what I'm going to do. My questions for that visit center around my kids and what they should do in the future.

But seriously... do they not think I'll have one panic attack after another if I have to wait until August to get any info? Maybe the urgency is just in my head, but it's there and I don't think I can handle waiting until August to move ahead in some way in my care plan.