Randomness

I was driving home from work today and it just felt weird. My world hasn't stopped, but my focus has changed. Yet I look around me and nobody else has changed. It's a weird feeling.

I have to figure out when, and in some cases if, I should tell people what's going on. It's quite personal, but some people probably fall under "need to know." And my family and I could probably use all of the support we can get. As for telling my kids, I think I'm going to wait until I have a plan.

I am worried about my siblings, cousins, and kids. I wish they'd all get the genetic testing and make the best decision for them. I want them to be proactive and knowledgeable and empowered. I don't want them shocked with a drastic, scary diagnosis, especially before it's "too late" to do anything, as it has been in the past for some of my relatives.

I've been told that a lot of people with family history like mine don't get the genetic testing. They opt not to. I can't imagine knowing I am at risk for the mutation but not finding out. Both options are scary but at least one could be a good answer and allows you to make informed decisions that could make your life and your loved ones' lives much better.

I got to snuggle with my two youngest girls while watching a movie with them tonight. It was good for my heart.

I have a very busy day tomorrow and am glad for that. I have fun things planned and also have to work. Lots to keep me busy and maybe distract my mind for a while.